Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
