Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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