Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
