I am spending my child support on dildos
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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