He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
