i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
