for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
