i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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