Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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