Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
