I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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