Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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