we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
