I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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