you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
