so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
