bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
