my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize