Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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