I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
