What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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