ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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