Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
