it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize