I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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