dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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