where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
