I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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