Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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