Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(419): I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady... http://tfl.nu/mk09

Replies (1) Good night (1455) Bad night (546)
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(818): View more from California

I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.

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(818): I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off. http://tfl.nu/7sly

Replies (27) Good night (677) Bad night (4184)
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(512): View more from Texas

He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.

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(512): He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone. http://tfl.nu/7h78

Replies (8) Good night (998) Bad night (3170)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.

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(717): Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire. http://tfl.nu/xlxu

Replies (11) Good night (1178) Bad night (2498)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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(780): A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/h37q

Replies (14) Good night (2760) Bad night (1078)
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(850): View more from Florida

....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP

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(850): ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP http://tfl.nu/qpvz

Replies (1) Good night (1182) Bad night (1163)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.

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(815): I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere. http://tfl.nu/v3m6

Replies (11) Good night (877) Bad night (2368)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet

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(507): Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet http://tfl.nu/981y

Replies (7) Good night (1247) Bad night (1360)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

next time we drink: battle shots.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.

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(403): next time we drink: battle shots. (1-403): battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out. http://tfl.nu/hwdw

Replies (9) Good night (1247) Bad night (697)
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(281): View more from Texas

I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.

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(281): I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever. http://tfl.nu/j15t

Replies (5) Good night (2085) Bad night (640)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing

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(413): I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing http://tfl.nu/ejfa

Replies (9) Good night (1366) Bad night (909)
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(518): View more from New York

he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.

(732): View more from New Jersey

do you still have it? i kinda want to see.

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(518): he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner. (732): do you still have it? i kinda want to see. http://tfl.nu/j8xe

Replies (4) Good night (2077) Bad night (719)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.

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(330): Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson. http://tfl.nu/3wwn

Replies (6) Good night (1355) Bad night (621)
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(989): View more from Michigan

She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date

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(989): She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date http://tfl.nu/rvoi

Replies (5) Good night (271) Bad night (467)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...

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(763): Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea... http://tfl.nu/smy0

Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (148)

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