thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher