i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.