its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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