Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
