Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?