To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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