I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
