so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
