I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
