i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I just shit out all my problems.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
