Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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