I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize