No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
