What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
