I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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