Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
