I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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