he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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