how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
