You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
