I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
