so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
