Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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