No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
