there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
one might say we're banned from that church
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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