Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im six kinds of drunk right now
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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