either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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