come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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