I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
