So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
