Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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