so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
