i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
