dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So. Much. Porn.
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