I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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