he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
