my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
