We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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